Feminist: The Label That Fit Me Like a Glove

By Annette Mukiga, Program Officer for RWN

The partnership between RWN and IIE under the African Centers of Excellence for Women's Leadership (ACE) program started in 2013 and I have been part of the different ACE convenings and activities since then. The most common threads in all these events have been feminist transformational leadership, personal reflection and promoting self care and love as well as our personal “her stories” as a way to keep our feminist principles alive and working in practice.

I have been working for Rwanda Women Network (RWN) for more than a decade and for the first time I could sense that this world that I entered as a young woman was feeling more like home. I finally had a name “Feminist” and it fit me like a glove. I am shameless and unapologetic in taking it and flaunting it as my own.

In most countries and cultural contexts, the word “feminism” carries a negative connotation, with feminism being seen as a western ideology that demonizes men. Feminists are caricatured as “man haters” and “home breakers”. The term feminism may have originated in Europe, but we lived it as Africans before we even knew what it meant.

There have been many struggles by women in challenging traditional and patriarchal systems all over the world and close to home, the famous Rwandan folktale of Ndabaga, the young woman who disguised herself as a young man in order to be admitted in a military camp is a powerful story of a woman who pushed and challenged the gender boundaries of that time.  As a single woman and mother continuously challenging society norms that want to shrink and shape me into “a submissive, virtuous and good woman” I identify with this woman.

For me this journey has led to both personal and professional growth. When I sat through one of the self-care sessions in feminist transformational process, I was hesitant at first. But after I went through a few and did some of the exercises including the body map for the first time, I began to understand body politics and the importance of space for myself. It was rejuvenating, I have learnt to love myself. I found this only in a feminist space!

Naturally, I am a person that is very reserved and like leading from the sidelines and hate the limelight. I have come to love me. For me to give back to the world I have to love myself first and not feel guilty about it. I have had to learn, know more and be in tune with who I am, my journey and where I want to be in this world. To know my strengths and my weaknesses in order to go where I want to go – it is not an easy journey and needs continuous reflection and keeping the bigger picture in focus.

As I continue to grow and take on bigger leadership responsibilities especially around promoting women’s rights, holding leaders accountable and advocating on gender and women’s issues like violence against women and girls, women’s safe spaces, women in decision making, reproductive health, family planning as well as contentious issues like abortion; I am counting on my strength as a woman as well as feminist principles to guide me through.

Feminism - a perspective that values all people as equal, women and men, boys and girls.

“Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke………………. She will need her sisterhood” Gloria Steinem.

Rwanda Women's Network (RWN) is one of the four partner institutes of the African Centers of Excellence (ACE) for Women's Leadership program run by the Institute of International Education (IIE) , Ethiopia Office.

For more on IIE , ACE or RWN please follow the links below.

www.iie.org/

www.iie.org/en/Programs/ACE-for-Womens-Leadership, 

www.rwandawomennetwork.org

African Governments urged to support active participation of women in peace and conflict prevention at the 60th Commission on the Status of Women

By Eunice Musiime- Executive Director, Akina Mama wa Afrika

The United Nations 60th Commission on the Status of Women (CSW60) was held from the 14^th-25^th March in New York. This year's theme was "Women's empowerment and the link to sustainable development. Representatives of UN Member States, UN entities and Non – Governmental Organisations (NGOs) accredited by the UN Economic and Social Council attended the CSW60.

 At the opening, Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka, the UN Women Executive Director and a UN Under-Secretary-General, said "This session marks the beginning of the countdown to 2030 to the future we want, in which no one is left behind." She also emphasized the fact that Governments cannot solely deliver on this very ambitious development framework; calling on Member States to collaborate with various stakeholders including civil society and women's rights organizations. She added that greater support and protection of civil society is needed to ensure greater political space and capacity for them.

 In his opening remarks, UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon acknowledged the strides made. He noted that he had appointed more than 150 women as Assistant Secretary-Generals or Under-Secretary-Generals. "When I took office, there were no women special representatives – often known as SRSGs – in the field," Ban observed. "Today, nearly a quarter of UN missions are headed by women. That is not nearly enough, but it is a major step in realizing the Security Council's historic resolution 1325 on women, peace and security.”

Akina Mama wa Afrika (AMwA) was one of the organizations that organized a parallel session on women, peace and security and its link to achieving sustainable development. The panel composed of the African Union Special Envoy on Peace and Security, Ms Bineta Diop,  the Chairperson of AMwA: Ms. Thokozile Ruzvidzo; A renown Feminist from Zambia Ms. Sara Longwe; A peace and security activist from Democratic Republic of Congo, Ms Josephine Malimukono, The Executive Director of FIDA-Uganda, Ms. Irene Ovonji; Ms. Muadi Mukenge from the Global Fund for Women and Ms. Eunice Musiime, the Executive Director of Akina Mama wa Afrika.

Ms. Thokozile Ruzvidzo, Director African Centre for Gender and Social Development speaking at AMwA Parallel Event on the 18th of March 2016, Salvation Army 

With the current conflicts in the region, the panel and participants shared experiences of how they are working to advance the women, peace and security agenda but noted that there is still a lot more to be done. A broad critique of the failure of several policies and frameworks such as United Nations Security Council Resolution 1325 to increase the participation of women in peace processes was discussed, citing that mechanisms developed have not focused on creating inclusive processes as a result of patriarchal norms.

 The AU Special Envoy on Peace and Security noted that “When women groups have the opportunity and capacity to exercise effective influence on the peace process the likelihood of peace agreements being reached and implemented is much higher.” She pledged to work with women rights organizations in advancing women’s participation.

 Reflecting on the different panels and sessions, one of the key take –always is how to replicate best practices on the local, national and global level rather than re-inventing the wheel.

Overall the question of women, peace and security remains central to the realization of the Agenda2030, and should be one of the issues African governments especially from the Great Lakes Region focus on as they seek to prioritise which goals of the agenda to implement.

AKina Mama wa Afrika (AMwA) is one of the four partner institutes of the African Centers of Excellence (ACE) for Women's Leadership program run by the Institute of International Education (IIE) , Sub Saharan Africa- Ethiopia Office.

For more on IIE , ACE or AMwA please follow the links below.
www.iie.org/
www.iie.org/en/Programs/ACE-for-Womens-Leadership, 

www.akinamamawaafrika.org/

I am a child of abused mother

In recent past Kenya has witnessed escalation of violence against women. While others have been left injured with disabilities other women have been killed. Quite recently a young woman was beaten by her partner and thrown out of a four-floor building. She was then electrocuted by the fence at the gate and hit the floor with her head. She died instantly. This has made me wonder so many things. Perpetrators of violence often instill fear to their victims and that their self esteem is no more and the strength to leave is not there. I kept on wondering what about children who witness these crimes and violence, what about them? 

Recently I caught a story by a child of a survivor of violence and this is her story. Her name is Nancy* and this is her story;

This is particularly hard for me to share, first because I love my mother very much, and secondly, because I know this update will bring scrutiny to her, and I am not sure she wants that part of her life known but anyway.

My mother was in an abusive marriage for as long as I can remember. First emotional abuse. He broke her little by little. First she had a terrible lip color, next the blue dress made her look like a slut. Then the heels sent the wrong message to men, and then she was spending too much on expensive clothes or shoes or perfume that was not good anyway. Then, her friends were not good enough. One was too opinionated, the other loose morals, the other a smart mouth, and yet another a bad influence. My mother, caved to all of her husband's demands, because he loved her, and he was her prince charming, and his comments, however nasty, were coming from a good place. After all, aren’t partners supposed to be brutally honest?

Then we were born, and mom did not have enough time to look as good anymore. All she wanted was her kids to be fed and happy, and her business to run successfully so that she could provide for her family. Then the incessant complains intensified. Her clothes now were dirty, did not fit properly, she smelled, did not do her hair... etc. etc. Mom still stayed despite the hurtful things he said, because, men are visual beings, and father was just asking for more instead of roving. Soon after, the beatings started. First it was a slap for talking back, which was followed by remorse and an apology. A black eye here, bruises on the stomach there etc. mom stayed. After all, her kids were tiny and they needed her. Then the aunties started. He would bring them to live with us, so that they could go to college while living with us. They were always his distant cousins. When mom was away at the family business, he was home sleeping with his "distant cousins" he was so careless that we saw it, but we were just too young to know what we saw. We told our mom, and her heart broke into pieces. When she confronted him, the "distant cousin" was thrown out and my mother beaten black and blue. She had had it, so she moved upcountry to her parents in law's farm, hoping that they would intervene.

They did not, they told her to vumilia (persevere), go back to her husband and kids and figure it out. After all, 'wengi wamevumilia na wanaishi'- many have endured and lived. By then I was around 10, and my father was already emotionally abusing us the kids, especially me because he had some deep seated hatred for the female gender. We were completely alienated from our friends. He picked at everything we did, and I was often punished for my brother's mistakes, so much so that my brothers actively avoided trouble to keep me from beatings. My elder brother, at 13, dared my father to hit me ever again; he was beaten, but at least my father knew his son had grown up enough to start challenging him. That night, we told our mother to leave. We packed her stuff, she left in the morning to go to the business as usual. We packed some of her clothes in a school bag, and with those she left. Left an abusive marriage, an abusive man, a toxic life.

When a woman gets a chance to leave it takes a lot of strength and at times children also play a major role to that shift. We should support survivors and end Violence against Women and Girls.

By Esther Wambui- Executive Director for YWLI

Young Women's Leadership Institute (YWLI) is one of the four partner institutes of the African Centers of Excellence (ACE) for Women's Leadership program run by the Institute of International Education (IIE) , Ethiopia Office.

For more on IIE , ACE or YWLI please follow the links below.
www.iie.org/
www.iie.org/en/Programs/ACE-for-Womens-Leadership, 

www.ywli.org