Ayesha’s Cry…My Cry
By Mahlet M. Alemayehu
These are
tearful words of a thirteen year old girl – Ayesha.
“I got
married when I was 13, I was still going to school and I had a dream of
everything good. My mother would beat me
whenever I refused marriage; I was finally told that I am about to be wedded
the day before my wedding day. I was forced to get married. I got married to a
man 20 years older than me. When I got married I was sick and they took me to a
hospital. I also wanted to stab myself but my husband stopped me. Many people
say, if a girl is 8 years old, she is good for marriage. But I wish if I could
finish my education. I was destroyed by early marriage. I found myself with a
man who wants his marital rights. They destroyed my life!”
This is the
story of fifteen million girls each year, 28 girls every minute, who are married
off before the age of 18 as the world continues to force them into becoming
women and doing things unbearable for their age both emotionally and physically.
We watch them become wives snatched from their play grounds and education; we
watch them become mothers at a greater risk of experiencing dangerous
complications in pregnancy and child birth. We watch them suffer with lifelong
health complications including fistula until we no longer want to even share a
room with them, we watch them become burdened with household responsibilities and
rearing children only at the age of 8, 9, 10 while they themselves are
children. We watch them get violated and infected and die of HIV AIDS and all
this is bestowed upon them as a result of a decision made on their behalf by
people they trust the most. These girls are dis-empowered, dependent on their
husbands and deprived from their fundamental rights to health education and safety
with the social and cultural norms fueling the enormity of the issue.
Ayesha had a dream, a dream that she will get
to enjoy her childhood to the fullest, to play as a child, go to school as a
child, and grow up like a normal child. When she was forced into being married,
her dream died within her. I also have a dream, a dream that hasn’t yet died
with hers. I wish to see a world where each one of us
here as mothers and fathers and sisters and brothers would no longer sell our
girl children for our own benefits in the name of marriage or continue to stand
by and watch others while they do the same. I wish to see a world where we care
enough to educate the vary many Ayesha’s of our days so they are able to
exercise their rights; a world where girls can enjoy a safe environment and
experience a normal childhood; a world where we care to talk about Ayesha and
get everyone around us to do the same until everyone says Ayesha should not
marry! We should come together to facilitate awareness among our leaders and
elders and put pressure on our local governmental bodies to make sure that the
talks are walked; that they take child marriage seriously and the policies we
here are in place are indeed implemented and experienced!
No one
should be forced into marriage; even more, no child should be forced into
marriage before the age of 18!
The
African Centers of Excellence (ACE) for Women's Leadership program is run
by the Institute of International Education (IIE) , Ethiopia Office.
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